I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
