dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
