after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I need moral support for this bender
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize