I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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