You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
