:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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