This girl is more easily done than said...
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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