idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
