people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
It's blow job season.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
