We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
