I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
