You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
