Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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