I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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