Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
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