he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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