You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
All the doctor said was why
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
