Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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