If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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