so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
