I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
