she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
