Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
