i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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