Dual....:-)
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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