I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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