So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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