u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
