her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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