South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
