we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
