You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
