Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
