I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
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