If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
3pm strippers are depressing
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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