there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
