i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
