I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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