how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
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