you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
