I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize