Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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