you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just forgot I was standing up.
Randomize
