My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
bring money and cleavage
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
