dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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