Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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