Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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