Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Randomize
