You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
