New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
