Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
