It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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