i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
If I die, sorry about rent.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I love you.
Bad choice
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
