We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
