Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I had to cum in my sink.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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