remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
