STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
