: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
