today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I wear drunk well.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
